Re-Entry

Re-Entry
When people extra physical activity like taking a ski trip or doing extra gardening they often know that their body is going to 'pay for that extra activity.' They know that they're going to have extra soreness for days. Sometimes they're much more sore than they expected, and sometimes they're less sore than they expected.

When you come to a meeting, a workshop, or a retreat, you're going far past your usual amount of inner work. This is very similar to doing extra physical activity. You 'pay for this extra amount of inner work' from the meeting in how you feel emotionally and physically as you wake up the next morning and continue with in the days ahead.

In the work with Charles we refer to whether we have had a hard re-entry or an easy re-entry into our life after a meeting or after a retreat. Re-entry refers to how we're feeling in the days after the retreat as we go about our life. Re-entry involves both emotional and physical. Emotionally a lot can still be moving and releasing, and can feel emotionally uncomfortable. 'Our stuff' that is moving is anchored in the physical cells of our body. Physically after a retreat we may be tired, achy or even get sick as this energy is discharged from the cells of the body.

Re-entry after a retreat or after a meeting is not as linear as overdoing physical activity. Often people will know how sore they'll be after a ski trip. After a meeting or after a retreat you may be 'rocked' (emotionally and/or physically continuing to release) for hours or for days or you may just feel great.

Many times we're surprised at how difficult or how easy the re-entry is. Other times, we get just what we expected. An easy re-entry is when we feel much better, or at least not bad, after a retreat. A harder re-entry is when uncomfortable emotions1 are there for days after a retreat. Why would anyone want to go to a retreat or go to a meeting and feel worse after? Read on.

I didn't like the uncomfortable emotions after the retreats and after the workshops. What kept me going? I trusted the people that came before me. They said they all went through a process after a retreat, and that it gets easier (not easy). I trusted them because what they shared in the retreat and how they felt in their life was what I wanted. They talked of being freer of 'their stuff' and living with more freedom. I saw this extra freedom (compared to me), and I wanted it!

When I started working with Charles, the uncomfortable emotions that came up after a retreat were often very strong. They would usually lessen when I got very busy; like being at work. And then they'd be there again when I slowed down.

When I first started going to retreats I couldn't go to the next retreat for two months. I was also attending one day workshops every month. That was all I could handle. Now I can go to a retreat and then I can go to another retreat two weeks later and go to a one day workshop too. I have an easier re-entry now than I did years ago.

Processing
What is processing? The word process means to go forward. Processing is when emotions and feelings that have been locked inside come out to be released, and these emotions are released. We can have uncomfortable emotions and we can become more and more wrapped up/held captive by the emotions. This is not processing our emotions; it's increasing the uncomfortable emotions.

We can also have uncomfortable emotions and when these uncomfortable emotions move through and release, we feel better. It's in the feeling of the emotions and in the releasing of the emotions that we process (go forward). Feeling the uncomfortableness is a step that is usually needed in processing.

Each time we go through the uncomfortable emotions, we're either energizing the emotions or the emotions are being de-energized. The more we think about the emotions, the more we can energize them (thereby slowing or blocking their release). People use the word process quite a bit. Processing is when you're going forward. Many people say they're processing when they're actually energizing the negative emotions and strengthening their current negative emotions.

Back To The Topic Of Re-Entry
Charles asks a question usually after a number of years of doing this work: "Was it all worth it?" So far everybody has said yes. He then follows up with a question: "Would you do it all again?" Almost always there is a pause with an explanation before answering: "I wouldn't want to do it all again, and yes I would do it all again."

I still have times of hard re-entry where there are uncomfortable emotions for days after a meeting or after a retreat. Most people experience that the more times they go to a meeting and go through the re-entry into their life that the process is not as difficult as it used to be, and that there can be a feeling of Grace simultaneous with the uncomfortable emotions. Often in the beginning, the feeling of Grace is not there or is barely there.

Sometimes, for me, re-entry can be like a bumpy plane ride. There can be times of smoothness and times of bumpiness. Sometimes re-entry is much more bumpy than smooth. And when that process comes to an end, then I feel lighter and better than I did before the retreat or before the meeting. I've watched that this lighter/better is not just temporary; it's progressive. Over the years of doing this work I feel so much lighter and better than when I started seven years ago. This work is not about temporary relief or a temporary high. This work is about living as who you really are; not being as influenced by your limitations.

Each person needs to find for themselves if these extra uncomfortable emotions after a meeting are a needed consequence of their opening and releasing, or if they are just causing themselves to be more emotionally uncomfortable. Coming to this answer is very important. If the answer is yes and that the uncomfortable emotions are actually uncomfortable emotioins in us that are continuing to release, then the person can be more motivated to continue coming to meetings and to retreats. If a person doesn't come to the answer of yes, then they won't continue with this work.

I encourage people to reach out to others during the uncomfortable times. I was having a particularly hard re-entry after the last meeting. The feeling of Grace was also very strong, though I was 'not myself' for two days. This is not a complaint. I'm grateful that so much came up to move. I feel lighter, clearer and better now that the process has lifted. Near the end of the second day Socorro called me. We talked for about an hour. I told her how I was feeling and we didn't talk much about it. Socorro has had the uncomfortable emotions come up many, many times after a meeting, workshop or retreat. There was no fixing or consoling needed. We talked and during the talking I was feeling more grounded. I told her how much she helped me without trying to help me.

Support is essential in doing this work. Coming to meetings is a support. Also having friendships or acquaintanceships with people doing this work is a support. I suggest to not be an island. These meetings provide an opportunity to develop friendships or acquaintanceships with other people coming to the group. It's like joining a photography club or the Sierra club. You want to do that activity with others and you can usually develop friendships with these like-minded people.

I've had an unwavering Yes for this work for years. Have I bitched and moaned at times? Yes. Would I do it all again? Yes. Being freer and freer is such a good deal. It's the way of life that I've dreamed of having. And I'm only just beginning.

Footnotes:
1 Emotions and feelings are psychologically classified as being two different states. In this writing, for reasons of simplicity, I'm going to use the word emotion to cover both emotions and feelings. I think emotions are primary to this topic, though I don't want to ignore feelings. Click here to read a view that I like about the difference between emotions and feelings. (This footnote is from the fifth paragraph of this article). (March 2, 2015)

Click here to go to the main page of the website.